Have You Seen The Rabbit On The Moon?
As always, the vehicle jolted and shook us as we entered the Tonto National Forest as if the rocky road had intentions of shaking off whatever us TrailWalkers were bringing in from the modern world.
I was not yet present.
I was not yet attuned to the environment I was stepping into.
The wilderness of the world and its many preoccupations hung over me like a cloud, preventing me from becoming fully aware of the land, my senses and the liminal threshold we were crossing.
When we stopped for a bio break I took the opportunity to get out of the vehicle and kneel down behind some cacti.
I placed my hands on the soil and told her, “pachamamita estoy aquí, ya llegué” to mentally arrive and become present. This small yet powerful act shifted my awareness and opened up my body to become attuned to the Earth body.
The Saguaro cacti, the ancient guardians of the land, watched over us as we serpentined deeper and deeper into the backcountry.
When we arrived at the meeting spot, they had us do a training on ceremony. We were asked to select a rock and think about all those people that loved us into being and to place that loving energy on the rock. We came into a circle and placed the rocks on the outside of the circle so that we were inside the container, held by love. We each shared our personal experiences with ceremony and what they meant to us.
My friend, Dan, said something I liked, he said something like, “the ceremonial beings/energies are happy when we facilitate ceremony, they rejoice when we come together and aid us.” It brought me comfort in knowing we have intangible allies aiding us and celebrating along with us.
Another TrailWalker mentioned that Life Can Be Ceremony. He mentioned the importance of setting goals. Those small moments leading up to the big ones, that’s ceremony.
I felt a calling to lean even closer to the One Who Stands Within,
to lean even closer to my authenticity,
my truth.
The Saguaro cacti as my witness.
That week I was meant to be walking with Wind band, but the band assignments shifted and they placed me in Fire band.
I was feeling a little uneasy to learn that, as the last time I walked with the boys band shit went down to say the least.
All these feelings dissolved once I stepped into the band though.
We crossed a bridge that went over water and I became even more aware of the threshold between Wilderness and the Wilderness of the World (modern society)
past & present
But really that’s all an illusion because ‘now’ is all there ever is.
Friday 1:17 am Nightwatch
I just threw more logs onto the fire so I can see as I write on my journal.
Everyone just went to bed. Before everyone got into their sleeping bags, we had a fire burning ceremony.
I sang to the boys as they contemplated and journaled on their steno pads the things they wished to release, shed, burn. They each took turns sharing themselves and burning the pages of their steno in the fire.
Fire, transmute, alchemy, change.
Layers peel off, making space for the new.
The smoke envelopes me and smudges me when the winds shift as if wanting to cleanse me and purify me, sending away any negative energies that may be lingering on my aura preventing me from being here, present.
The fire crackles and spits out an ember as if agreeing with me.
As I write this, I can hear the soft rumination of the creek behind me
like an ocean of graceful applause
celebrating all life that crosses ki’s way.
The half moon sets behind the mountain and she’s gone, making the night even darker.
I can see the silhouettes of the Saguaro cacti on top of the mountain range and a blanket of stars.
It's 1:17 am, and my night watch ends soon.
I am the only one awake.
I watch the fire.
I cook and write to entertain myself.
I look at the embers in the fire, my mind tries to make up shapes and figures.
I see… ancient civilizations in the burnt segments of the logs.
My unconscious finds a stage,
or cave, for shadow play.
I walk over to the boys sleeping bags to check on them ever so often.
Me acompañan las estrellas.
I stare at the fire until 2:00 am and wake up the next TrailWalker for his night shift and go to bed.
Saturday 1:50 am Night Watch
Friday we hiked from 10:30 am to 3:40ish pm from Sycamore creek to some unnamed spot next to the Verde River.
The Verde River gets ki’s name because of the vibrant green algae on the bottom of the river bank.
The Verde is the life force of this corner of the desert.
A desert oasis providing water & nutrients to Cottonwoods, Reeds, Mesquite, Cholla Cacti, Jojoba, Sycamores and the rest of the plant beings native to the Bloody Basin. I can imagine these trees passing on nutrients & water to the trees & plants furthest from the river through the mycelium, the largest, most ancient organism on the planet.
The reciprocal relationships prevalent in Nature soothe my Soul.
I wish to be a part of a community that looks after one another like that.
But as I exchange my breath with the trees that surround me, I remember the truth of my interconnection and relationship with the more-than-human world and I feel whole. Holy.
We found a spot right near the Verde River up on a shelf with the most luscious green grass I've seen in a while, underneath a canopy of Mesquite trees. Mesquite trees have branches sprawled with thorns, and when I walk barefoot I get stabbed, but I try not to mind it, I try to think of it as acupuncture of the desert. The desert will poke and prod you, bending you into shape. Calling for your awareness.
Most of the branches from the Mesquite trees are dead, so we gave them a bit of a pruning in exchange for firewood. There are mountains behind us and in front of us making us feel tiny and safe.
The moon is still out shedding her celestial light above the mountain range.
I can hear the rushing waters of the river, the soft crackle of the fire and the symphony of crickets playing their night song. This grand nocturnal orchestra fills my heart with so much serenity.
When I close my eyes I envision the river’s rushing waters entering me from the crown chakra and washing over my spirit continuously.
The currents wash away any energy that is not in resonance with peace, down to the ground
So that it may be composted, recycled and transmuted by Mama Earth.
Close your eyes and be here with me.
Everything in Nature is a Reminder
A sacred invitation
To be present.
The present is all there is but our minds create the past and future, through stories we tell ourselves. The more we feed these stories, the more we alienate from the now.
But the now will always be here, waiting for us to come back and experience the present that is presence.
That is my greatest struggle in the wilderness of the world - there are too many distractions.
We humans of the industrial growth society have created infrastructure, technology, marketing tactics, social platforms, and entertainment all dissociating us from the now.
I personally suffer from technology and social media addiction. I think that’s what I enjoy most about escaping into the woods weeks at a time the most.
No technology, just presence.
Presence, my greatest teacher.
Presence, I'm your greatest preacher.
When I was eight I had my first existential/identity crisis. I couldn’t understand why I could only see life through Reet’s goggles.
Why couldn’t I just dissolve my ego, transcend and become Omnipresent?
I think this is the root cause for my social media addiction. I do appreciate how I can finally see life through other people’s goggles. It’s beautiful to see everyone having such lovely lives. Of course this is also an illusion since people carefully curate to only post the nice moments of their lives. (with a few expectations of those who post some raw, vulnerable content, and god bless those people) But I do also enjoy reading about other people’s experience of the human experience. I guess it makes me feel less alone. A lone. Al one. All one.
When I am immersed in Nature my soul organically feels called to be more present. This is one of the billion reasons why I am enamored with the natural world.
She is so willing to offer her medicine to those open to receiving it.
During the hike today this became bittersweet medicine.
We were hiking through jumping cholla cacti and if you're familiar with this more-than-human being you’d know they have an ill will to jump on you and stab you with ki’s many needles.
The cholla cacti was jumping all over the YoungWalkers throughout the entire hike.
I kept thinking to myself, “What’s the medicine and lesson here?” surely there is something. There is always something Mother Nature is trying to tell us.
Ah yes, here is our Earth Mother again, asking us to be present and focused so that we walk more mindfully upon her land.
Saturday 4:29 pm
12 S 0434670
3779487
Elevation 2,210 ft
We just got to our new campsite for the night.
The hike was tough on me today.
My pack was so heavy it felt like I was giving birth outta my back.
There was no water along the way - it was completely dry. In the morning I gave one of my canteens to one of the YoungWalkers because he lost both of his on yesterday’s hike somehow - which meant I went through my water quickly.
It made me ponder, what is my heart really thirsty for?
My heart is thirsty for all two-legged beings to reawaken to the profound innate connection we have with the natural world. I trust this is the antidote to the climate crisis. My heart is thirsty for me to dissolve all distractions and procrastination so that I can yet again, shed more layers of my personality, to get closer to being the version of myself I aim to be.
We hiked through a maze of Cholla, Saguaro, Creosote, Banana Yucca and some other native plants I could not name. I lost sight of the trail. Mother Nature has a funny way of humbling me each and every time. I caught sight of Wind band from a distance and found the trail again. Relief.
On the trail, there were rocks that had the shape of amethyst but were clear colored instead of purple.
Nature’s beauty never ceases to amaze me.
How is it that the Earth can combine the same elements and through unique composition push out vibrant flowers, birth clear quartz from the ground, sprout majestic cacti like Saguaro?
To me it’s all a miracle.
It's truly a blessing to witness all of this creation; an earthy cosmic intelligence that is interdependent, self-regulates and is of reciprocal nature with all of life.
We live at the perfect distance from the sun, the goldilocks zone, for liquid water to exist, for all of this to be possible.
Tell me this isn't a miracle.
It brings my heart to sorrow that there are some people that are not amazed, not impressed and take it all for granted. The only thing I can do is inspire others to live this life with awe and wonder, with as much love for the Earth as I have. Only through love can this be done. Otherwise it's not really sustainable activism. Very easy to get burnt out. God knows I've been there.
Yesterday we heard there was contraband in the group. Us TrailWalkers each had sittings (one-on-one) with the members of the group, but no one fessed up.
Later that night we prompted the question during Fire circle,
“Why is the Gift of Choice important?”
The Gift of Choice is a prevalent concept here at Anasazi, basically meaning every person has the freedom of choice.
Anasazi’s principles dictate that each person, every YoungWalker, is a person of worth, is inherently good and deserves the respect and protection of his agency and dignity. NOT:
Seen as bad kids
Abused or degraded in any way
Punished
Forced
Therefore, we allowed them to choose; to give us the contraband or keep it.
Your life, your choice.
We didn't strip search them or search their personal belongings at all. We did not toss their bags around or shame them. We thought, “how many times have these kids been judged or shamed by their parents?” This has only resulted in creating hearts at war.
We just posed the question for contemplation and discussion. And we did have a heartfelt discussion. We each passed an Ocotillo torch around the circle as a talking stick. The flames lit up everyone’s faces as they spoke.
Hopefully, opening the topic for discussion also opened up their hearts for change.
And yet we can’t really change people.
We can only plant seeds
of philosophy, vision, hope, morale…
and hope that they tend to those seeds until they fully blossom.
Change comes from within, a person has to desire change or healing, in order for it to actually happen for them. We are not healers, we can only catalyze the healing, if at all. Only if their hearts are open and ready.
It is from this place that the most authentic and integrated actions come forth.
While we taking a hiking break a yellow Swallowtail Butterfly landed on my stomach while I was reading Paramahansa Yogananda’s little books of metaphysical meditations.
The affirmation I was reading at the time was:
“I will consciously receive the light of the creator constantly passing through me.”
When we emanate the same non-threatening presence of a flower, we can attract butterflies, hummingbirds, dragonflies and other sentient beings will feel drawn to us.
When we absorb the serenity of Nature we are in harmony with the universe and attuned to our natural environment.
I felt the visitation a sacred affirmation, especially since my angel card of the day was “Transformation” and caterpillars as you know, undergo metamorphosis or transformation to become butterflies.
I recalled the last time I was visited by a yellow swallowtail was during my wilderness solo last summer in Dragon’s back mountain in Colorado. I was undergoing yet another state of transformation. I was saying goodbye to an old version of Reet in order to make space for a new sense of Self to emerge. I had said goodbye to my old life in Miami and was welcoming a new chapter, one filled with adventure which would lead me to re-wild my soul.
I affirm: “I am constantly making space for a new sense of self to emerge, one that is in alignment with the highest vision I have for my Self.”
It was a full moon, and I asked the boys, “Have you seen the rabbit in the moon? If you focus on the dark spots you can kind of make a figure like you would a Rorschach ink blot test…”
and just then, Ridge came to our campsite with a black-tailed Jackrabbit he had caught.
The boys were ecstatic.
Earlier that day, they were cracking jokes about how they wanted to eat one of the therapists' little dog for meat.
Mason, my co-worker and friend, who has lived on a farm for most of his life, took the opportunity to give us a demonstration and lesson, and taught us how to degut the Jackrabbit, skin ki and cut ki up into fractions. While he was gutting the Jackrabbit he showed us how the different organs should look in order to be safe enough to eat.
“The liver which filters everything looks really healthy, as you can see, there are no white spots.” he said. “The lungs look well and so does the heart.”
The boys dug a whole to bury the organs and the fur. They were so attentive, and so amazed at what was happening before their eyes.
Mason had us do a Sacred Circle, in which we each offered words of gratitude onto the space for the Jackrabbit’s sacrifice, and for the Land’s generous offering so we may nourish ourselves.
One of the YoungWalkers present admitted they felt uncomfortable seeing all the guts, blood and the process of removing the fur coat, but felt it was more honorable to eat meat in this way, considering nowadays there is a massive amount of animal factories, in which animals are pumped up with hormones, and are living smushed together in cages, having no quality of life, just the experience of slavery and exploitation.
This Jackrabbit had lived her life free to roam the wild.
Mason then told us a story of Navajo origin,
“Before, Fire belonged to the Gods…. One day Coyote snuck into their belonging place and stole a coal from the fire of the Gods, snatching it with his mouth. The Gods were angry by this and threw sticks and stones at Coyote to prevent him from seizing the coal. Coyote yelped and howled and dropped the coal. But Jackrabbit swooped in, put the coal on his tail and leaped down to the human realm, giving us…. The gift of Fire! And that’s why, if you see Jackrabbit’s tail… you will see a black stripe, representing the place where he kept the coal. We thank Jackrabbit for his noble offering.”
Everyone then worked together as WE, by gathering firewood and rocks to set up a grill (we had found a part of a metal crate that worked beautifully as a grill) so we could cook the flesh. Up until this point, I hadn’t seen the group work all together as a team.
Something had shifted.
We built the fire to get some rolling hot flames to kill off any possible bacteria that may have been lingering on the crate. As the fire softened we placed Jackrabbit’s flesh on top of the grill to cook.
Some of the boys expressed the beauty & uniqueness of this moment.
Other boys who initially had a heart at war with the program mentioned wanting to “gift themselves more time in the program” a symbol that their hearts were turning. A shift was indeed taking place.
Mason passed me the cooked limbs and I cut them into equal parts with my frost knife upon a flat rock and distributed the meat amongst the members of the group.
Each of them exclaimed with great joy, “How delicious! How satisfying it is to eat flesh!”
Then Mason passed me Jackrabbit’s heart to cut it up into 8 equal parts.
He opened up the fire circle, and held on to his talking stick as he spoke… the flames of the fire illuminating his face.
He asked that I distribute Jackrabbit’s heart amongst the boys and had them hold on to the pieces on their hand until he had finished with his speaking.
Mason told us how Jackrabbit had given a piece of herself so that we may have strength, nourishment and vitality, and he invited us to ponder how we might give a piece of ourselves to others, to the community, in humble service, so that the community may have strength, nourishment and vitality. He invited us to contemplate this, make a speaking and then eat Jackrabbit's heart as an affirmative prayer.
I asked that the boys put as much intention into their everyday food as they have done with this meal. To give thanks for the animal’s sacrifice each time they eat flesh.
I shared how grateful I was to get nourishment in this way, in a way that honors tradition, that honors ancient primitive skills.
I shared how connected I felt with the Land, my ancestors and those around me present to share this moment as WE.
How beautiful to survive & thrive off the land, rather be dependent on the man-made matrix, rather than get meat wrapped in plastic and styrofoam from the store, with no prayers, no sacred meaning, killed with no honor or acknowledgement.
I ate Jackrabbit’s heart with the intention of sharing my gifts as a humble offering to my community, through yoga, and my writing, I offer my heartfelt thoughts, my energy and experiences.
Every time I look up at the moon I will remember Jackrabbit’s noble offering and will remember the sacred invitation to continue offering myself in humble service.
It is with the utmost gratitude I pass out pieces of me so my community may feel nourished, strong and with energy.
I am Moonsong Monarch
and I have spoken.
Ps. If you so feel called, could you help me reach a wider audience by sharing this article on your story/feed? Or even better, will you leave me a comment with an image or something that stood out for you after reading this article? I would profoundly appreciate it.
Further, if you live in Preskitt, AZ I will be having a yoga-sound healing event taking place on Sunday, March 27th at 11:OO am at my house. All are welcome. Please email me for more details.